*phone ringing*

Topher: Peter! Hi! Just in time for radio.

Peter: --WHY ARE SQUIRRELS MAILING ME NOTES? I'm kind of on a schedule here!

Topher: I know, right, mail takes forever, you'd at least think they could text it to you or something more efficient like that.

Peter: I mean I don't have time to do radio.

Topher: Oh. Well that's unfortunate. Well, ( Read more... )

Topher: Tired. Can we get through this?

Peter: Naturally. As soon as you ( stop whining )

Peter: So far, nothing terrible has happened yet.

Topher: ...so far?

Peter: Well, last week, the child crashed in about halfway through our introduction. I’m giving it time.

Topher: She wasn't terrible. You guys were buds. And stuff.

Peter: She was, however, the harbinger of a weekend full of headaches.

Topher: Well, yeah. I can't find ( Read more... )

Peter: I’d say ‘good morning’, but I’m fairly sure no one’s having one. I just managed to shake my child for five minutes to come do this radio broadcast, and I doubt I’m alone.

Topher: Your what?

Peter: Kid. Showed up, claims to belong to me and Nat.

Topher: ...ew?

Peter: Strange. Anyw--

*thunk* *thud* *creak*

Genevieve: Parents.

Topher: ...is that her?

( Read more... )

Peter: Good morning, listeners. This is Peter Wiggin for WTFH, and this is my sidekick...

Topher: Hey! I'm not a sidekick!

Peter: My sidekick, Topher Brink.

Topher: Not a sidekick!

Peter: Topher, you can’t even lift a paperback novel or manage interaction more complicated than calling out for pizza. Sidekick it is.

Topher: Ugh.

Peter: You’ll grow to like ( Read more... )

Topher: 'm sleepy.

Peter: And I’m thrilled to know about it.

Topher: Squirrels took my pillow.

Peter: I’m sure you’ll get it back if you throw a few nuts at them.

Topher: ...well, I don't have any.

Peter: Third drawer to the right.

*sounds of a brief scuffle*

Topher: ...and now they're using it as a plate. THANKS.

Peter: It’s not my fault ( Read more... )

Topher: You look tired.

Peter: And you look like you haven’t seen the sun in five months. Can we please move on and get this over with?

Topher: For your information, I went outside yesterday. I had to pick up a package. So -- okay!?

Peter: Whatever. Notes. Get reading.

( In which Peter is tired and jacked up on adrenaline and Topher isn't helping. )

Topher: Seriously? On vacation? SERIOUSLY? You guys are the worst. Ugh.

Peter: No rest for the wicked. Or in our case, the annoyed and the you.

Topher: Why don't I get an adjective?

Peter: Oh, you’re an adjective all by yourself.

Topher: Thank you?

Peter: No.

( i have screwed up my sleep schedule beyond all repair radio! )

Rebecca: You know, for a radio booth run by squirrels, I sort of thought it'd be more interesting.

Peter: I’m terribly sorry it isn’t up to your exacting standards.

Rebecca: I think I'll find the will to go on.

Peter: You’d better. You made me oversleep.

Rebecca: ...thank you!

Peter: Not really. Also, I think at this point, the sight - or thought - of ( Read more... )

Topher: ...this is weird.

Peter: This is radio. We do it every week. You may remember it.

Topher: I mean I feel... never mind.

Peter: Jaye isn’t paying us-- not paying us-- to feel. She’s paying us to read notes. Chop chop, I have really important... homework to get back to.

Topher: Of course you do.

Peter: Look, the... homework came in this ( Read more... )